THE TRUTH ABOUT CATS!!!!!!

You see this cat? YOU SEE IT'S EYES!?!?! If you've ever wondered what a cat is thinking, this is your article! When a cat hisses, it is really RELEASING ITS INNER DEMON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cats are TRULY embodied demons. When cats are scowling at you, they are trying to think of ways TO TAKE YOU DOWN. No wonder there were two movies where cats tried to take over the human race. DUH! If you got a mood collar for cats, the three moods would be sullen, evil and really evil. Once, I was walking down the block when a cat tried to jump on my head! Luckily a stray dog was present. HE SAVED MY LIFE. This dog, appropriately named (Angel)o, has protected my family from rabid cats for YEARS. Dogs, on the other hand, are embodied angels. I bet you've heard of plenty of stories about dogs saving lives. YOU WONDER YUNO SEE NO HELPFUL CAT? THEY DEMONS!!!!! Translation: You wonder why you don't see helpful cats? They're EVIL!!! A dog is man's best friend right? CATS ARE MAN'S WORST ENEMY. You have never truly experienced evil until you hear a cat hiss. Can you believe people who buy cats?!? BAD CHOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cats will be the cause of death of millions. Aside from microwavable bacon (Only real men eat real bacon), cats are the number 2 cause of death. IN THE WORLD! POSSIBLY THE UNIVERSE!!! With fur and claws, cats will PUNCTURE YOUR EYES. Hope you agree, Nate