METAL DUDES

HOLY TOLEDO IRON MAN 3 WAS RELEASED IN THEATERS IN USA 4 DAYS AGO. This movie provides a strong foundation for MARVEL's phase 2. This movie was over the top action. I wish I had Happy hogan as a bodyguard. He lives up to his high expectations. Aaaaaaannnnnnny way, this movie starts in the past, while stark is "making demons". Big whoop right? He made some nerd fan angry. WRONG. This character blossoms into a creepy handsome brainiac filled with Stark hatred. He supposedly supports "The Mandarin", a terrorist from who knows where. This Mandarin fellow puts bombs everywhere that provide significant heat signatures… while also threatening the safety of the president. Tony Stark feels like a big shot and gives the Mandarin HIS HOME ADRESS.              

"The Mandarin" (Ben Kingsley)

The Mandarin, unsurprisingly , fires a volley of missiles onto his house. Everything goes downhill from there. LITERALLY. His home falls off the cliff it rests on. Everyone gets out safe, but all his suits are destroyed… Thats all I'm going to spoil. GO WATCH THE MOVIE!!!!!! One note for the director, use less curse words. In one part of the movie, Robert Downey Jr. te
lls a 11 year old to "Stop being a p***y". Thats my only complaint. This movie was also very action packed. It includes a "barrel of monkeys" scene and Tony Stark breaking into high tech facility with homemade bombs/ shocker gloves. It has some REALLY COOL SUIT DESIGNS.

Heavy lifting suit "IGOR"

 THIS ISN'T IT!!

Maximum velocity suit "SHOTGUN"

Sub orbital suit "GEMINI"

Disaster rescue suit "RED SNAPPER"

Enhanced energy suit "SILVER CENTURION"

 Wanna see em' all? WATCH THE MOVIE. Rating: PG-13/ Movie rating: 9.5

HORSES AND JAZZ

HELLO FRIEND

Has anyone else here noticed a recent HORSE CRAZE. Wherever I look i see horses. From the derby to Minecraft, HORSEES ARE EVERWHERE. I have made a poem, for horses are going to take over the world. My uncle just danced on a horse. He did this 'thout any remorse. For the horses are crazy, And not at all lazy, So lets all dance on a horse. (If this poem has given you,nausea, the runs, fevers, temporary blindness, or diarrhea , please contact 1-800-THE RUNS) Now that my terrible poem is over, we can talk about horses. I have nothing against the creatures except for the fact that they have made their way onto the media. (this is how Rise of the Planet of the Apes starts) I really don't want to wake up and find out that humanity is now endangered and the Statue of Liberty is about 12 feet tall. Talk about a TOTAL BUMMER. Horses have also made their way onto famous video games including, Legend of Zelda, Minecraft, and Assassins Creed. Most people don't have a clue about what i just said, but gamers do. THE HORSES WILL TAKE OUR GAMING RIGHTS. Horses are in may sports, but lets try to keep it that way. If this continues, we will be infested by horses. Don't let the contamination spread, make a horse do sports.

A Silenced Picture

I remember!

Post a "/" every time you see this wait, what were we talking about?

ATVs, Missed Calls, And Really Obscure Alluisions

R MR GRSH IRTS MR

Today, I was trolled by my friend, unanswered by another, and played with an ATV track. This might sound fine but it really bothered me. In Minecraft, my friend took all of my items, and only gave some back. Now I have to delete that world because I had limited resources (Skyblock). After trying to get them back, I finally convinced my dad to let me call a friend, but he didn't answer. I decided to cheer myself up. I went downstairs to get a ATV track set to play with. (This is where everything gets nonsensical) Suddenly, the NES turns on and I'm surrounded by brilliant blue light. When I wake up I'm in a pixellated pharmacy with  a bunch of blocky pillbottles. Suddenly, a boy with a red hat jumps down from the ceiling and says: "Look out, oh-kay!" After about 0.00089 seconds another boy in a spider like mech suit crashes in through the wall!!! Before I realize it, I'm pummeling the dude with fireballs, thunder, and comets!!! His mech suit malfunctions and explodes sending debris every where. When red hat bro and I recover he thanks me and the credits roll. Wha-wha-what!?! CREDITS!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Oh wait, I'm just playing Earthbound.

Dandelion Classification

Dr. Jekyll

Mr. Hyde

Respect Your Pants!!!

WHAT KIND OF WORLD DO WE LIVE IN?!?!? Yesterday, while I was riding home from Lowes, my dad and I saw two grown women walking down the street in their pajamas. THE WERE WALKING ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD IN SWEATPANTS. Pants are for style and comfort, some especially for comfort. Sweat pants belong to the second category. I really think that "peeps should respect themselves. Even if it's just going out for ice-cream or TP or whateves." (actual Adventure Time quote). Jake the dog and Finn the human agree. Sweat pants are only to be used at home.

CONFUSED SHEEP GAMES

AWW MAN… LOOK AT THAT SHEEP MAN. AWWWWW MAN THATS SO GOOD. Oh hey!! I didn't see you there! This is my pet sheep, Alfie. He's just chillin'. But back to the post. My new come pan ion Is able to read people's minds. For example, he says you're wondering why the biscuits do I have a sheep? Thats simple really, all you have to do is go to Walmart, subtract three, divide by the cubed root of frozen foodstuffs... type in abbababbbC, leave Walmart and the sheep should be on your left. REMEMBER TO DRAW THE SMILEY FACE AFTER DOUSING THE CELING WITH MILK. This sheep is the orange's baton when it comes to juggling. He normally just juggles oranges and batons, although, if you don't eat 3 pints of beans while sheep hunting, the sheep will have a programmable computer modem on it's right nostril. BE CAREFUL THOUGH. Your new pet can easily terminate ere-bay if you upgrade his artificial intelligence. Revert to the video below for more info. OH and don't click on the links.

IF I HAD A TARDIS

Oooooooooookay, first off, I would go to England and do everything in my power to make a royal guard move while wearing a ski mask. YOLO. Then I would go learn some random alien language to impress my friends. YOLO? Next, I would Find the smarty pants that invented essays and KICK HIM IN THE FACE!!! I hate essays. I would then probably go eat some pie. SERIOUS YOLO.  After the pie I would probably go kill all of the famous terrorists BEFORE they commit crimes. I would probably give some famous scientist a video game console. I would then save all my dead relatives from death and give a dvd player to Ben Franklin. I really don't have a to undo list so I guess thats it! Talk to you later, Nate

That guy… Who?

Yay! Telephones!

Buckle on your bow ties and strap on your suspenders, were goin' for a ride in a police box! This show (Dr. Who) about a humanoid alien, is crazy popular in Britain, and to some extent, murica y'all (that means America). The "Doctor" is universally known and galatically wide as he has saved and destroyed many races, all for the betterment of others. This "man", the one who thinks that bow ties  are cool, travels with an ever shifting cast of characters. He knows a crud load of facts and has a Christmas list (oh yeah; 4000 year old swag). In this show, there are so many plot twists its hard to keep track of them. This year is this series's 50th anniversary and I wanted to congratulate it. Keep your fezes on, farewell, Nate. If you want to check out this show its on BBC.

A Few Words for Words

                                                    

This right here is what happens when Nate plays Bananagrams. Fancy words happen. Have you ever played a Scrabble-esque game before? Well let me tell you IT IS HARD TO FIND THE LETTER YOU WANT. Sometimes you just end up with a crap load of tiles you have no idea what to do with. Thats why you play with a dictionary. For example; you could use obscure words no one even knows what they might mean. Like chirk (real word). These games, if played correctly can turn into a rabid flurry for the letter (insert letter here). Words are fun to use as they can turn into something that comically doesn't make sense, or in my case, queer tweeters rope. If you crave for something meatier, use join hoagie bag. Whether it's you ooze suave hag, or gone taint pagan cot…DIE, these words are fun to jumble up.

My day at the pool

This is what I look like when I sun bathe.....which is why I don't

Peeps These Days

This is what Sloth would  look like if he was a peep. Happy Easter! # derpy peeps

Eggy Madness

This is madness.

Today, I paid a visit to Jeffersonville park. I was greeted by a dirty creek, and a crudload of candy filled, plastic, pastel eggs. I was at my church easter egg hunt. My family was supposed to hide eggs, but we got there late and had to wait until the hunts were over to leave. So about an hour stuck in a small park. I had two friends there so we played GET AS MUCH DIRTY WATER ON EACH OTHER WITH LARGE ROCKS (?) AND STYROFOAM  CUPS in the creek. Good game. You should play it sometime. Let me explain the scene; (cold) water almost everywhere; rocks flying into a creek bed; and three soaked middle schoolers with small cups filled with water attached to long sticks. In other words, a bunch of crazy wet guys running around with muck covered twigs. But easter isn't always a bunch of sugar filled wet dudes, it's about how our savior overcame death for us. It's a time for rejoicing (and maybe getting a little wet).

TACO FAIL

This is one of the failed marketing attempts of the notorious bell filled with taco residue. Tonight, I was forced to go to this broken down chihuahua hole. For once, I was truly appalled by the evilness of a restaurant. I don't even think thats a dog! IT IS AN INCOGNITO CAT BENT ON DESTROYING THE UNIVERSE. This restaurant promotes CaWD eqweFSDWefDW sedsghw3eSErzsfz dgWsa eszDFZCxr AGWeszvdc……………………….. Sorry, my computer can't process PURE EVIL. Weeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllll anyway, Taco Bell is the most corrupt rest you rant out there. Even the mascot looks unstable! They also have the tackiest wallpaper in town! Nothing says tacos like pink and white. Besides the unconventional wallpaper, they have terrible deserts. My mom ordered a cookie sandwich and they served it FROZEN; in the wrapper!!! WhAt!/!\!/! DONT GO TO THE DEATH BELL. EAT A SANDWICH. Did I say death? I meant Taco. >:D The meat is also possibly POWDERED. We just got a new mexican restaurant today! Yeah, I went to Taco Bell. Save yourself, be smart, go to Mc Donalds , not Taco Bell. What really miffs me off is that while I was trying to choke down the taco, MY SISTER ATE WENDY'S. RIGHT IN FRONT O MA FACE. It was brutal, but I survived. Im never going back again.

The Story Behind Ants

The ants' poo cleaner

 Have you ever wondered about ants? These six-legged insects are really quite, well, FrEaKin cRaZy!!!!!!! Ants have a unique way of communicating which includes using their poo to write messages on the ceiling. They also have designated poo cleaners who use plastic buckets to scoop it off the roof. Some ants even have reached ENLIGHTENMENT!!! They use telekinesis to lift objects up to ten times their weight! Ants also have a sustainable system of government (every man for himself). On top of that, ants can breath underwater for 5274628 eons (granted they live that long)! With ants, the more the merrier. Ants can have more than 567854938164826345892817923405493827384959847320129384569854732189234504932871623748596054938271672839456054392817 members in one single cubic yard! whether its buying or selling, ants have all your home improvement needs.

BACON 2.0!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A history of Bacon

THIS ARTICLE IS ABOUT THE PAST AND FUTURE OF   BACON!!!!!!! Alrighty then, lets get started! As some may know,  bacon was accidentally created by a man known as B. A .Con in the 13th century. Bacon was a hit in B. A.Con's hometown. Even so, bacon wasn't truly popular until the late 19th century. This was when the baconization age was starting. One of the most famous bacon supporters was Henry Bacon. This architect, one of the best in his field, designed the Bacoln Memorial; a big piece of stony, top hatted bacon. Many people became interested in this concept and bacon sales skyrocketed. Now, many people have tried to make SUBSTITUTE BACON !?! These disgraceful disgraces include tofu, microwavable-bacon (see Only real men eat real bacon), and the deadly, TURKEY-BACON. While bland tasting, these substitutes still prove dangerous to baconkind. HOWEVER, the future shines bright for bacon everywhere, FOR I HAVE SEEN IT. In the year 2300, bacon will the first space meal. THATS RIGHT. YOU POUR WATER ON IT, INSTANT GRATIFICATION.  Soon after this, bacon grease will power our hoverboards. It will also power our teleporters, phones, and robotic servants. So there you have it! Bacon has been, and always will be, the foundation of society.

Penguin

Can you see Nate's name?

THE TRUTH ABOUT CATS!!!!!!

You see this cat? YOU SEE IT'S EYES!?!?! If you've ever wondered what a cat is thinking, this is your article! When a cat hisses, it is really RELEASING ITS INNER DEMON!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cats are TRULY embodied demons. When cats are scowling at you, they are trying to think of ways TO TAKE YOU DOWN. No wonder there were two movies where cats tried to take over the human race. DUH! If you got a mood collar for cats, the three moods would be sullen, evil and really evil. Once, I was walking down the block when a cat tried to jump on my head! Luckily a stray dog was present. HE SAVED MY LIFE. This dog, appropriately named (Angel)o, has protected my family from rabid cats for YEARS. Dogs, on the other hand, are embodied angels. I bet you've heard of plenty of stories about dogs saving lives. YOU WONDER YUNO SEE NO HELPFUL CAT? THEY DEMONS!!!!! Translation: You wonder why you don't see helpful cats? They're EVIL!!! A dog is man's best friend right? CATS ARE MAN'S WORST ENEMY. You have never truly experienced evil until you hear a cat hiss. Can you believe people who buy cats?!? BAD CHOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cats will be the cause of death of millions. Aside from microwavable bacon (Only real men eat real bacon), cats are the number 2 cause of death. IN THE WORLD! POSSIBLY THE UNIVERSE!!! With fur and claws, cats will PUNCTURE YOUR EYES. Hope you agree, Nate

What Kind of Chamber?!?!?

Okay… if you are into puzzle games and you haven't played this, DOWNLOAD IT NOW. This independent pc/mac puzzle game has been racking up awards at gaming conferences since 2009. Just recently being released to the public this year, there has been countless players reviewing it. The premise of this game is somewhat like Portal. You are trapped in a complex test facility and must escape by using tools that you find. Unlike Portal though, this game completely throws reality out the window while somehow maintaining it. The graphics of this game's puzzles are crazy yet simply mind boggling (it's like M.C. Ecsher threw up!). One of the coolest things about this game is the lessons it teaches. After every puzzle a little lesson shows up that applies to the recently solved puzzle and life. Backtracking also plays a vital part in this chamber of illusionary. In the first puzzle, called leap of faith, there is a huge chasm with the word, "jump?" in the middle. You try and fail, but when you return the word changes to "walk?". When you walk, a pathway appears where you are standing, allowing you to cross to the other side. It's times like these when I question this game's reality. Once you progress in the game, you get guns that can place and pick up small, colored blocks. Certain guns do certain things with the blocks, but I'll let you figure that out on your own. The score and sound effects for this game are also praiseable. Whether it's forest fauna or clapping rain, the little bursts of sound are completely appropriate to their situation. Whether you're turning around to find something has changed, or looking forward to see nothing whatsoever, this game expertly delivers tricks and surprises around, or back around every corner.

Academic!!!

This weekend I Spent my time in a HOTEL. IN LOUISVILLE. WITH A BUNCH OF SWEATY SMART PEOPLES. Which is actually pretty cool. Okay… I really just had a state academic team meet. We really had a lot of fun. One of the eighth graders brought his Xbox and we played video games during our free time. Then, on sunday we went to the old spaghetti factory. When we played video games I really really stunk so I died a lot of times. Despite minor flaws and mishaps I had a great time this weekend. BYE, Nate

Rolling cube from the Useless vehicle collection

The Sleigh Copter

MINECRAFT 1.5!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OoOoOoOkAaAaAaAyYyYyY……… MINECRAFT 1.5!!!!!!!!!!!!!! In this report I will be reviewing MINECRAFT 1.5. Yes, that's right Minecraft hit the redstone update. Trapped chests, mobile explosives, columns, and a whole new Nether-exclusive ore! All in one update. Okay, first off, the new mechanics. You are now able to craft redstone blocks, which act as movable redstone torches. There are also pressure plates that are triggered by thrown items. In addition, you can aim a dispenser to the sky! On to some new things. The new ore, called Nether quartz, is naturally found in the Nether, and quite easy to find at that. The Nether quartz is used in many new crafting recipes including cool columns, stairs, and the useful daylight sensor. This tool emits a redstone signal based on the light level surrounding it. This isn't all the new update offers, so I recommend going to www.minecraftwiki.com. There you can get more information about these features. Minecraft is a cool game and I strongly recommend playing it. PEACE AND STUFF. Bye

Smells Like Treasure

This book, not a sad dog story, is about a farm dude named Homer. This outcast is the sort of proud owner of a dog that can only smell treasure. Okay, first off, this kid is a master treasure hunter /map decoder that has inherited a spot on a certain organization called L.O.S.T. (legends, objects, secrets, and treasures). When he is right about to be admitted into this organization he gets challenged by a familiar face… READ THE FIRST BOOK (Smells like dog) BEFORE THIS ONE. IT WILL MAKE MORE SENSE. This farm boy has recently shamed his family at the county fair (he and his dog, "Dog," crash a lot of stuff) and gets banned from it. He persuades his fam to let him go away from their town for a little while. He secretly goes to a meeting of lost but before he gets initiated the intruder, well, intruders! Join Homer and his special dog on a journey to prove his treasure hunting skills, with danger at every corner, they risk death on finding the fake treasure to win the contest and get initiated into L.O.S.T. Smells Like Treasure/Suzanne Selfors

BOreD RaNdOMnEss

Today when I got home I was excruciatingly bored. I wasn't aloud to get on the internet so scratch youtube and blogging of the list. I was playing a video game when I got stuck on some trippy level. This was shaping up to be a bored day when suddenly, I had the best idea ever. I was going to build a time machine. I went down to my dads workshop, got some wire and circuitry , and glued them to a pay phone downtown. I put in the 50 cents an dialed the number. I waited. The phone is ringing, and I'm waiting. When every thing turned black. I woke up tied to a set of monkey bars and there were a bunch of kindergarteners surrounding me. I said hello but they just stared at me. Weird. One picked me up and said the orange turtle howls when disturbed. Okay this is weird. Time to run, but every thing turned black again. I was back on my couch, watching tv. Im still not sure if that time machine works but Im to bored to check anyway. Peace out. NATE

Only Real Men Eat Real Bacon

Today, I noticed that grocers have hit rock bottom, now selling FAKE BACON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OKAY, that is just crossing the line. This "microwavable" bacon is an unholy beast built upon lies and sacrilege. It is offending to bacon-kind everywhere. M-wave bacon WILL BE THE CAUSE OF THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. I have predicted this using my bacon sense ( extra grease!) and the sheer knowledge of the bacon gods ( pig, fat, and grease). They have given me facts about the history of bacon; did you know B. A. Con, a famous Baconeese inventor / part time chef created bacon by accidentally chopping a pig fillet and its fat into a heated pan? Years later Kevin Bacon got famous by selling bacon flavored chocolate ,he later got into acting and has performed in multiple films including Baconers, Baconloose, and Bacon First Class. It's men and women like these that have secured bacons fame; yet a new threat arises. It's up to you to not buy microwaveable bacon and to eat bacon daily to survive and prevent the Zombie Apocalypse.

NDT's Lego Mini Figure Fortress

NDT's Creation Today
"Lego Mini Fortress"

Oz; The Great and Wireless

SPOILER ALERT: THERE ARE A FEW MOVIE QUOTES IN THIS REVIEW; IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO KNOW ANYTHING AT ALL ABOUT THE MOVIE I WOULD NOT ADVISE READING THIS REPORT Today was just a regular day. I had school, which was okay, but after that I went to our local theater. There I was amazed at Oz the great and powerful ( he has no need for wires). This man, a great magician, but not too good a person, has many acts that would make Newton gasp. Join Oz, China Doll,and Finley on their epic quest to defeat the wicked witch … Glinda? SAy WHaT?!? The floating bubble chick? Well I guess you'll just have to find out for yourself. In this movie there are plenty of nods to Dorothy and Totos original journey ( Munchkins, Ozs big glowing head, flying monkeys, and we realize that the western witch gets hurt by water…). The thing that bothered me is that Sam Raimi forgot to add in the ruby slippers. I mean come on. How did that easterly, striped pantsed witch get those designer duds? I WANNA KNOW!!! Apparently Jack Nicholson isn't the only one that thinks we can't handle the truth (YOU HERE THAT SAM!?! YOU CAN'T HANDLE US NOT HANDLING THE TRUTH!!!). Other than that, I didn't have many qualms with Sams choices on directing this film. What I really liked was all the nostalgia for the famous, yellow bricky, predecessor. Those four examples are just the start! Another thing that I liked is that it was filmed so climactically. The cameras really move with the people on the silver screen. It also uses a lot of special effects, but seriously, whats a witch without some fancy fireballs or some lightning (an ugly vengeful hag built on derping you to death)? This movie has a few dysfunctions ( unconvincing acting, not making me jump, etc.), but otherwise it was a good production. On a scale of Troll 2 to Star Wars II, this movie would receive a solid Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers ( if you don't speak nerd, it got a 9.25 out of 10). Despite some minor flaws, this movie came out as a tough competitor for my 2013 favorite movie so far. WARNING, AT MY LOCAL MOVIE THEATER ( Tenth Frame Cinemas ) THERE ARE SOME IFFY TRAILERS FOR KIDS BEFORE THE MOVIE (Great Gatsby/ The Host) STARTS. PS: There isn't anything at the end of the credits. );